Blown away.

I was convicted to every bone in my body.
Anger.
I feel anger.
Not because I have been convicted, but because anger is what I struggle with.
The exact thing I have been wrestling with was brought to my attention through the power of Christ.

Now the question remains - what am I going to do to change this?
I bottle up so much of my anger till I feel like I can no longer face people.
I allow anger to control my entire body. I get tense and lose all sight of what is in front of me.
Break into chills up and down my body.
Before I know it - I am beating myself up emotionally. No one will break these walls.
I will disappear from a crowd - no matter how much I care for them.
I push away and I run from what I am feeling.

"What little mind you have"

To focus on one thing and to drown myself in anger.
What is the bigger picture  - why am I not looking ahead.
Reach in and forgive yourself - forgive others.

"What little mind you have"
"What little mind you have"

Over and over. Those words. I am losing the war.
The war against myself.
My emotions are powering over my mind.
"What little mind you have"

This is a spiritual battle.
A battle against myself -  no one else.

Rip me open, remend me.
Let me breathe.
Do not let the brokenness within me win.
I am at war.