" Just before our love got lost you said
"I am as constant as a northern star"
And I said "Constantly in the darkness
Where's that at?
If you want me I'll be in the bar"

On the back of a cartoon coaster
In the blue TV screen light
I drew a map of Canada
Oh Canada
With your face sketched on it twice
You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
I would still be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid

I remember that time you told me you said
"Love is touching souls"
But surely you touched mine
Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

Oh I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet

I met a woman
She had a mouth like yours
She knew your life
She knew your devils and your deeds
And she said
"Go to him, stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed"

You're in my blood, you're my holy wine
You're so bitter, bitter and so sweet

Oh, I could drink a case of you darling
And I would still be on my feet
Oh I would still be on my feet "

This song is on repeat.

Majestic and Holy is He. 

The one who saves; 

creator of all things.

Name above all names. 

Yahweh.

Need you be reminded.
Your beauty is radiant.
Worthy of love
of life.
Spewing the most vibrant colours.
The heart that beats
is a beautiful one.

darling
lets venture into the wild abyss
to be lost
as if it were nothing
I want to feel
the wind whisking through our hair
two heart beats
loud
ever so softly
breathe on
with me

every now and then I feel your heart beat in my chest
the heavy beat leaves an impression
phantom breaths linger on my neck
tainted memories cloud the mind
I can't go back
that place
it is haunted
dominance controls
drawn in
taste
touch
oh, the bliss

Lately I have been so stressed about money and just how to divide my time evenly. 

Torn. Thrown back and forth with no solution because everything needed my time - and I had no time to give. I did not have the energy to wake up in the morning and face what the day had in front of me. My agenda continued to build, but by the grace of God I have been offered an extra 27 hours at work for after all my exams are completed. Praise God. In the whole scheme of things 27 hours is not a ton, but it is crucial enough to really help me out and put my mind at a bit more ease. 

God is so good. He is the ultimate provider. 

Oh, and lets just say - my aching desire for worldly things has been dimmed. 

May this new found energy be poured into loving Christ and shining for Him.

He. He. He. is so good. 

I can see him working in my life. I can feel it. I am starting to breathe it. 

Wild. 

It'd be outrageous

unthinkable

desired

needed

all in.

Unspoken

hush baby - 

not a word.

Silence. 

the broken are intended for God's glory.
it is weak, the shattered, the torn, and the incomplete that cling to
The Great I Am.

I am no where near perfect.
I am flawed.

I was never promised easy, but I was promised this war will be worth it.

If there is one thing that I have grasped in these past few months, it is the ability to slow down and take in Gods incredible masterpiece. I have been so blessed to live in such an immaculate city and province. 

When I take a step back from life's wirlwind chaos I being to take hold of just how small I am in the midst of this vast world. We, as unique individuals, are only a minisculous fraction of the grander picture. Our creativity is fed through His creative mind, and my goly, He is a wonder worker. 

Each day I stand in awe of his great works for his is so worthy of praise. I feel him in a silence of nature and I feel him in the depths of my soul; though, I wander and I wander into the fog is clears the way. He guides me. It is through His outstanding creation I feel Him most. 

I have been living on Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."

It is so true though. How can you see the divine nature that we are immersed in and not believe? He is the creator of all. I cannot wait to see where He takes me next, but right now, I will bask in His perfect creation and sing praises to His name.

As fall slowly fades into winter I find myself excited.
So many new things coming my way.
Today I woke up and decided that all this heartache I have been drowning in will fade.
I know it will fade.
Today I will express love. More love than ever.
If I look at myself and see how I need love - I know others must feel this also.
There is so much satisfaction to bring a smile to someone's face.
Wearing a smile screams joy.
Each day I am learning how to be a light to those around me. What is my purpose in their life?
I must stop asking myself what their purpose is in my life. This is not the answer.
Yes, from time to time I feel so direly unloved, but it is in those moments that I have been defeated
because it is not about being loved - it is about giving love.

While I look at what I believe to be true this fact rings so loud.
God died FOR ME - not for himself, so with this, I must pour my love on others.
I am to be living out in His steps, not in my own.
Love is what brings this world together.

With this, I must fade out my own desires and fuel my love into those around me.

As of late I have found myself consumed in desires that I cannot fulfil.
I have worked so hard to fight, but
while fighting I have found a distraction; though it is so unhealthy.
The new struggle is to fight off the urges I have now created.
My mind is playing tricks on me.
Tempting desires are like fire through my viens.
I must constrain.

New adventures are coming my way.

Reminded again and again.

He will not abandon.