Remember to Lean

The more I struggle - the more I lean on Him.

I have been struggling a lot with words and my actions lately.
I am constantly running thoughts through my head - did I say the right thing?
Did I respond the right way?
I want to be seen as different - as if I am living for something more than just life, but how do I go about doing that? The question remains.
While I continue to seek out the answer to this daunting, yet exciting question I must remember that
I am on an adventure with Him.
Daily I am reminded, and need to remind myself, that I am made in the image of God;
and if I am created by Him and if I am seeking His ways.. then I have to be on the right path?
This I am not sure of - but it is in faith that I know He will make my paths straight and He will lead me.

Though I know this is true I have allowed myself to be affected by pain and to hide in the darkness.
I have allowed anger to control me and despair lead my thoughts.
Where do I turn? I turned to no one but myself. A vicious cycle. I have not been myself lately.
I have buried myself so deep in "joy" that it almost feels real. Why do I continue on this vicious pattern when I know so much truth? With so many mixed hurts how can I can I continue to seek out His kingdom if I allow for such anger to overtake me?
I continue to repeat - His kingdom is love. His kingdom is love. His kingdom is love.
Though I know these words they only seem to sink in temporarily.

Days such as these ones - bringing to my knees, seeking His love - remind me that without pain I wouldn't need Him. I wouldn't need His grace. I wouldn't need faith that He is in control and will provide. So, once again, I attempt to smile and rejoice in my suffering knowing that He will not forsake me.

I Will Wait

I'll stand here patient, waiting on You.

I will wait for Your guidance.

I will not act on anything until I know it is for You. 

Keep me patient. 

Give me Your guidance.

Allow me the strength to act on Your desires. 

Help me not grow weary.

Allow me to see Your path clearly.

Help me jump with both feet and not fear.

Breathe On

a mess.
this mess.
a tattered soul shattered.

this mess was made by you.

fallen.
broken.
fragmented.

this mess was made by you.

empty words.
swollen knees.
raw eyes.

this mess was made by you.

a turning back.
taking control.
faith-less thoughts.

this mess was made by me.

angered actions.
hateful words.
blaming Him.

this mess was made by me.

loving arms.
compassionate words.
a tender touch.

this mess restored by Him.

comforting embrace.
encouraging guidance.
constant reminders.

this mess.
this mess restored by Him.

Forgive Even When it Hurts

Energy fuelled by hate.

Passion driven by anger. 

A lifeless cycle.

Energy fuelled by love. 

Passion driven by loving desires.

A cycle worth living for.

Love yourself. 

Love others. 

Put others first. 

Give with a cheerful heart. 

Remember - we are all in this together.

Guaranteed there will be hurts and life will never be easy, 

but it is when you are on your knees seeking for direction when you 

find delight in the Lord. 

He is your anchor; He your stronghold. 

He will not let you walk this journey alone. 

Night Owl

A fresh pot of coffee is the only thing to get me on my feet in the morning.

Something about the bitter sweet aroma that fills the air; something about the taste upon my lips. 

There is nothing like it. 

Coffee goes with any type of day. Good day. Bad day. The days where you simply want to quit. 

The days when you know you are tough enough to push through. That is what I love about it. 

It never seems to fail to satisfy. 

It is the simple things within our day to day lives that need to be focused on. 

Coffee may be something to get me out of bed in the morning but it cannot be the reason I live. 

How old is your soul? There is no one old enough - no one in rough enough seas to give up. 

Find your simplicity. 

Find where your heart lies. 

A heart that lies within the Father does not walk alone. 

He never gives up on us; no matter how hard we have fallen.

There is so much to learn.

Dig deeper to find yourself because you are worth it. 

Isaiah 66:9

"In the same way I will not cause 

pain without allowing something 

new to be born," says the Lord. 

A Beautiful Broken Melodic Mess

Steady as a beating heart; sometimes fast and sometimes slow. 

There is wonder beneath these eyes.

Are the sights illusions or in sync motions?

Where do they turn? 

Fascinating.

Melodic.

Gracefully woeful. 

The end is not near - 

though one may have reached it. 

Sweet bitterness whispered in the ear. 

Reach out but not too far;

pull back but not too close.
Forever balancing on the edge.
The end is not near

though one may have reached it. 

A Sunless Evening Sheds Light

There is beauty in all of creation. 

Beauty in rain that pours and beats against your face. 

Beauty in the sun rays that warm you as you step foot out of the shade. 

Beauty in the wind as it whips across your body sending shrills up your spine. 

Beauty in the cold crisp winters that leave you yearning to cuddle up to an open fire. 

Beauty as the spring flowers blossom bringing colour back into our midst.

 His creation is endless; His beauty is the most beautiful. 

He has created beautiful and He has created you.