I have come to a realization. 

It is a rather large realization considering I feel like I have been feeling very uncertain. 

Last night I had a dream - a very vivid dream. 

I was lost. A wander. 

I was not playing the role of me, but instead, I was watching myself. 

I watched myself go on my daily living so unaware that I was searching to find answers. 

Answers about myself and answers about what I am yearning for; though, while watching myself in this dream it was so apparent to me, the "watchee", that I was lost. 

How could I not see it in my own life? 

How do I step back out of the equation and find what I seem to be reaching for?

Am I reaching for it or am I holding back?

Though I know full well what I want to be reaching for, I can't seem to admit to it.

I am holding back because of fear. 

What will it take for me to jump? When will allow my walls to break down?

As I asked myself these questions the dream continued on. 

The dream seemed to jump from scene to scene, but yet, it all made perfect sense. 

Each scene so relevant in my life. I watched myself walk journeys that I did not think were bearable.

I had forgotten that I have hurt before and that I have lived my whole life lost, but the beauty is that I have continued to search. 

To the public eye I walked as if I had it all together, but I could see the confusion blinding my sight.  

In reality I stood blind. I spoke no truth. I walked in fear. I breathed uncertainty. I weeped pain. 

Everything felt so real. 

As the dream faded and my eyes began to winded the final scene came into play. 

I stood face to face with my fears. I stood wide eyed seeing truth. I spoke truth. I walked un-fearful. I breathed knowing I had found certainty in the uncertain.. I no longer weeped pain, but rather joy. 

I know this is real. 

I know I am reminded I am lost, but by the grace of God I will walk strong and he will guide me. He will be my strong hold and I will find strength in Him to achieve and be where He needs me to be. 

I am content. 

I trust He has me in His mighty hands. 

Though I wander - He will not let me stray too far from my own path.