you see, I cannot love you
i fear myself and what love will bring
I want to fall
let go
jump
you see there is nothing more I want
than to feel
something
most anything
I cannot be what you need or what you want
I am selfish in my own ways
you are delicate and beautiful
i lose breath at the thought of your touch
lose sight at the glimmer in your eye
i cannot look at you
blinded by past but,
"to lose is only to gain"
is something I have yet to grasp.
I prefer warmth, but I am cold
know your worth and what you can bring
one day I'll stop dreaming and fully allow my heart to sing

two souls but one heart

a heart for Christ

 

 

looking back on 60 years of life spent together.

Here stands my grandparents who have taught me winsdom

and enoucraged me through life.

always showing me what it means to be the reflection of Christ.

They have surely lived out a passion for Him

they ignite a fire through the souls of others.

seeking Him first, always

Servants of the Lord

and forever

my heroes

the beauty about living is the authenticity that it brings. 

to gather together, dream together

laugh together and even mourn together. 

there is always beauty around us, but sometimes, while in our selfish thoughts we look past it all. we forget where we came from and why we were created, by Him and to bring Him glory. I cannot express how distasteful I am when the world becomes about me. I pray that He continues to break me so that I am constantly reminded how desperately I need Him. I cannot wait to dream with Him and only for Him. Gracious is He to save a wretch such as me. 

with her wall built high

she began to wonder 

can anyone even climb that high? 

for not even she can see the top. she begs to remain

safe, 

to be hidden from it all.

each time he built her up only to tear her down, her wall grew a layer

countless times

no, she could never make him stay. 

a wander at heart, her soul cries for more.

no less anymore

her love so strong, she is dying to care for someone other than his own despair

with a wall so high 

even she 

does not know where to being

to bring it down low again

he walks with pride, still though, he is blind to all that he cannot un-see

trust remains easy as he dips his toes deep enough to feel

something, anything - he goes undamaged

it only takes one glance,

the lock of his eyes for her to feel the passion she once felt

this time, and every time since, his eyes remain dark

black and soulless 

does he remember?

does it matter? he is free at last.

far from her 

fleeing from her grasp 

at a quickened rate.

just as of late 

vivid images of him have stained her tainted mind

wishing she could scrape them clean

with rolls of thunder the silence is broken

but with flashes of lightening she sees his face

blinded by his memory she can no longer see faith

faith in believing she will learn to love again

faith in believing he will not win

too frightened to feel brave

though others have chipped at her concrete wall

they wither fast

it cannot be broken and that she fears

none will pass 

her wall continues to heighten fast

She continued to resist and it was not until she let herself feel the emotions of black, that the black
faded to a light grey, but in progress of becoming white as snow.
He couldn't see her desires and he ran. solely she desired him, and nothing more.
How could she give so much for him to turn? But isn't that the world's problem?
We have been given love freely, but we turn.
we run.
we hide.
this isn't ours.
Come out of your own darkness and stand in the light.
Selfish darkness that consumes her life.
Not dark enough to pull her down, but not light enough to forget that she needs to fill satisfactions.
No worldly desire can fulfil she dark shadows, but only by the Grace of the Father.

I thought I knew it all and I thought I had grasped
just exactly what you had given me, but I cannot and I never will.
You have given too much
sacrificed for me. How can I fathom such beauty.
I will wonder and I will stumble but I promise to not lose sight
for what you have given
there is nothing comparable.
My one and only
forever my constant