It is hard to speak volumes when you are not sure if you want to be heard.

I feel like I write better than I can speak, but I think better than I can write. I wish there was a way to fully trust and completely be okay with myself - so much so that I could pour my thoughts onto the blank pages. Blank pages have so much potential to be something, to say something, or to represent something. There in beauty in being blank though, I find. It is so hard to be blank, but sometimes I wish I were blank. Where would I be if I were blank and I could begin creating something out of my own blank page. Something I could create without the influences around me - or the pains that I face. I know who I am - but do people know who I am? I feel like these are so many misconceptions of myself. I hear voices chatter amongst themselves with mention of my name, but that is not me - who do the represent me to be? I wish I were blank. If people would focus on them then they would not need to create a page for me, instead, create a page for them. I wish that were true. Talking about me in a way that the world wants me to be - does not change me, instead, it hurts me, pushing me further back from where I need to be. How is it that people can talk and dictate me life?  - or feel a if they have a say in my life. This town won't stop talking, theirs eyes won't stop watching, their ears won't hear the truth, and their mouths speak whatever they feel. I wish I were blank because then I would be real.